What is "happiness"? With the help of my Facebook friends, I think I've found the answer: happiness is a whole lot of different things which vary from person to person (vague answer, right? Happiness simply cannot be pegged down to one "key".)
I asked the question "What is happiness?", in my status update. Nearly 40 friends responded, some listing multiple keys to their own personal happiness. The following pie chart is a breakdown of their responses - enjoy a slice!
The majority of my Facebook friends are parents, so children were the frontrunner in creating happiness. Mentions of love, including spouses and significant others, were pretty much equal to responses involving family in general. From this, I concluded that children make women a lot happier than men do (haha!) I also learned that people really enjoy a good meal, and when all else fails, most seek comfort in knowing their Lord and Savior. The responses I appreciated most were those that mentioned "the little things" or "the simple things" - like being grateful for what you have, enjoying simple moments, and one of my favorites, maintaining a balance in life.
So what makes me happy? LOTS of things. Enjoying a rich cup of hot chocolate, the smell of a nice home fragrance, my mom's clean laundry, meeting a goal, setting new goals, making someone else smile on a day when I can barely smile at all, conquering a fear, feeling healthy and energetic, my kitty's purring, holiday decorations and Jingle Bell Rock, simple things and complicated things, big buildings, taking photos, sharing a pizza with my husband, reading quotes on Dove chocolate wrappers, my husband's success and happiness, the unknown, victories, lessons learned, using the neti pot when my head is congested, a slice of cheesecake, good music, the movie "Definitely Maybe", pretty socks, seeing my family members succeed at anything and everything, learning, adventure, challenges, the past, the present, and the future. My Happiness.
If that isn't enough happiness for you, then here's the happiness my Facebook friends shared with me this week:
My response to this quote goes something like this: "YEAH, but..."
... but I'm not the type of person that sweeps only in front of my own door. I sweep in front of a lot of others' doors, too. (Seriously, I stop and straighten up my neighbors' welcome mats in front of their apartment doors, which is so not my responsibility.) I assume responsibility for a lot of things that are none of my business - I can be quite the nag. For some reason, I feel it necessary to assume personal responsibility for a lot of things because I feel something won't be done correctly and the outcome may directly affect me (selfish much?) Aren't we all up in other's beeswax? Every single one of us? Is it preventable? Do we spend way more time assuming others' responsbilities than our own? Is it better to be nonchalant about our jobs, conversations with friends, and daily responsibilities as wives, mothers, sisters, and friends, rather than be all up in everyone's everything? As I ponder these thoughts, I start to wonder what the heck personal responsibility really even is. Before I get in way over my head, I think I'll revert back to what my initial - and simple - idea was when I first found out that I would be sharing my thoughts about personal responsbility as part of Susie K's Blog-Gang attempt to take over the blogosphere:
Today, you will be learning about a few personal traits and hang-ups of mine that are quite flawed, somewhat unreasonable, and maybe even a little surprising to my faithful readers. That's right - Miss Chirpy Blogger has issues! I'm hoping some of you can relate, rather than hate! :D
Personal Responsibility. I really suck at it sometimes.
When I'm having a bad day, occasionally i'll blame it on everyone and everything else except for myself - I have a way of twisting things around so that I'm the victim. Before I know it, a large chunk of time has been wasted on feeling all crazy, unhappy, and hostile. I'm aware that I perform this immature, unfair act - so why do I continue to do it? I'm a girl... I'm PMS-ing... I have a short fuse, i'm a fiery redhead... pretty soon, my lame excuses run out. When it comes down to the matter at hand, I need practice. Practice with personal responsbility.
Someone said something that was offensive and disrespectful. And now, I am MAD!
Certain "types" of comments get under my skin. I'm not real great at handling close-minded claims, bragging, hurtful teasing, or jealousy. Instead of brushing off these types of comments that I know are silly and don't deserve an ounce of my energy, I go nuts. Never to the person's face - always later. That's when I start thinking. I think about past offensive comments of similar subject matter that have been made to me, similiar situations where I was forced to bite my tongue and nearly choked on it, the earlier days when the mean girl in high school said something that hurt my feelings. Pretty soon, I'm wishing I could go back to 5th grade when my lockermate told me my lunchbox smelled funny (bologna does smell funny, but still), and scream at her. (Do I have a mental problem? Maybe.) Usually, I don't feel better until I tell my husband about the initial comment that caused me to blow up. His gentle reminder that "I borrow trouble" somewhat angers me, but after I take a "time out" and think for a little while, I realize he's right. Then I'm cooled off. and totally over it. Until the next time.
Why can't i assume personal responability and simply... not pay any attention to nasty folks and their silly sayings? Why can't I be the bigger person and let go of the emotional hang ups I have? I really don't know. As I said before... I'm a girl, and I have PMS. haha. I know you're nodding your head because you've experience a similar situation/reaction. You do this too, don't you?!
I straight-up rolled out of the wrong side of the bed this a.m.
Trudging to the bathroom in complete darkness, I already feel bad vibes. I should take personal responsbility and turn the shower radio on to my favorite radio station, use my favorite citrusy shower gel, and try to get chirpy and happy. Instead, I bathe in silence, use my husband's bar soap, and wait... for something good to happen. Using this technique, I could be waiting all day! I typically try to see every day as special, but sometimes, I just settle for a "so-so" day - I'm sure others do it, too. Every day needs to be a GREAT one! Except, I'm lacking in the personal responsibility department and for some reason can't seem to succeed at viewing every single day as a blessing. I need to make it a special day - no one else is responsible for that. I realize this after I've had my "so-so" day and am getting ready to go to sleep.
Someone I love is having a bad day, so I'm going to have a bad day, too.
I do two things: 1) I assume responsibility for the other person's worries by trying to make everything better, when in reality, it might be best if i keep my distance - or at least, shut my mouth a little. 2) When doing this, I channel all the negative energy surrounding my loved one to myself as well - it's like i try to fight it FOR them, and in turn, I absorb it... but they're not any better, and I find myself feeling worse than I did on the day my little friend made fun of my bologna scented lunch box.
I know we all do this, and it's only because we care- but why can't I stay strong for my dear friend of family member, and not let myself get down because they're down? It's hard to see someone struggle and go about your business like nothing's going on.
If we simply adhere to sweeping our own doorsteps in situations like these, who's going to help us out if we need it? How much "help" is too much? Is it really even "help"? (I believe so.)
What does all of this mean? Should we simply stick to sweeping our own doorsteps only at work and in class? I'm not sure, but I wish someone would've stepped up and swept my doorstep when my lockermate made fun of my lunchbox. I was too feeble and meepy to talk back to her then, and would've appreciated the help. But maybe if she would've swept her own doorstep, my lunchbox wouldn't have been insulted!
Be sure to swing by Susie K's blog, MotherHoot, on Thursday for more takes on Personal Responsbility!
