An Empire State of Mind... and a New Blog!

It's time for the big news, bloggin' buds!


This week, my husband accepted a position as an Assistant Professor of Rhetoric and Composition at a college in upstate New York!  
The wait is finally over - but really, the wait wasn't that painstakingly long.  The fact is, we were pleasantly surprised with an early opportunity; to have all of this wrapped up before the New Year is a blessing and believe me, we are going to appreciate every single day with peace in our minds and hearts.  His teaching contract will not begin until fall 2011, so we will get to enjoy our little home in Athens, Ohio, for a few more months.  We couldn't be happier!


Hang on a minute. There's more.

You had to know it was coming!  I will write my last post for "A Day in the Life of a Grad Student's Wife" on December 31st.  January 1st will be the official launch date of my new blog, 'A Professor's Wife', and I hope you'll follow me there!  


http://www.aprofessorswife.com has proven to be a bit of a techie challenge, as I'm making the transition to a self-hosted Wordpress blog. I carefully weighed the pros and cons, and decided to take this challenging blogging road. I will install the Google Friend Connect widget so that you will be able to easily follow my new blog in Google Reader.  You'll also be able to subscribe via email, too - so if you're not a Google Reader user, it's totally cool. 


Of course, I can't completely delete all of my days of being a Grad Student's Wife, so I'm leaving this blog alone - it'll still be here after the 1st for your reading pleasure! You never know - you may feel the urge to revisit some of those Chocolate induced posts.


So basically, I'm still the same girl. With the same writing style, and the same personality.  But PRAISE the LORD, I'm completing the phase of being a Grad Student's Wife! It's been a long 7 years! (I had to celebrate some how!)


As always, thanks for reading my blog.  I will continue to post here up until the new year, so don't go anywhere just yet! 


Have a terrific weekend, all!  Go ahead and start planning your trips to Albany, NY!

'Now I've been happy lately, thinking about the good things to come
And I believe it could be, something good has begun.' - Cat Stevens

I'm Thankful for... (Day 1)

my education.

There isn't a day that passes without me being consciously aware of how much my education from Marshall University has benefited my life.  I took a huge leap of faith when I moved to Huntington in the Fall of 2002; I moved 3 hours away from home and chose to attend a school where I'd never received a formal campus tour.  I left behind a home on the mend, as my mom, brother, and I were still in the process of picking up the pieces and moving on from the untimely death of my father. Little did I know,  Marshall University would FIX me for life.

It's where I moved on, overcame grief and shock, and grew up.  I began dating my husband there, learned the concepts of hard work and team effort, and found a real sense of belonging in this big crazy thing we call "life".  I really became my own little woman in the city of Huntington, discovered a serious need for challenges and adventure, and developed the beginnings of a ruthless attempt to live life to the fullest.  I became brave.  "What's the big deal?", you ask - "it's just Huntington, it's not like it's New York City or anything."  For me, it was!  I grew up in a town of 3,000 in rural West Virginia, scared to go anywhere and do anything.  The four years I spent as a student at Marshall University were all I needed to realize that I can do anything. (OK, not anything. But lots of things.)

My education also benefited me employment-wise.  Moving to Southeastern Ohio doesn't exactly guarantee a large pool of job opportunities.  No, I'm not a lawyer. Or doctor. or dentist.  I'm definitely nowhere near having as much money as I would like, but I have a sweet office inside the building of a non-profit organization that most would die to have. I work with fantastic co-workers that have become friends. Most importantly, I found a sense of belonging as a working person in a college town that is basically made up of the college and various pizza chain restaurants, and have been able to live happily and fully with my husband and our little fat house cat.

I earned a Bachelors Degree in Criminal Justice from the Marshall University College of Liberal Arts in Criminal Justice.  The confidence and sense of accomplishment that I feel is still overwhelming, even after 5 years of sporting the cap and gown and shaking president Kopp's hand on stage as the late Senator Byrd looked on from his seat. It's not just a piece of paper on the wall; it's my love life, my work life, and my entire future.  It's a great past, an unforgettable experience, and a tradition for my husband, sister-in-law, and I.  How could I not take time out to be thankful for something that resembles love, livelihood, and special bonds that will last forever?

   

What is one thing that you're thankful for today?

(Go Herd!)

The Waiting Game

It's been two months since I blogged about the beginning stage of my husband's academic job search. It's time to blog about phase 2, which is a total killer for some as impatient as yours truly!

The hubs submitted 40+ applications via online and snail mail this fall.  OVER FORTY.  Excellent opportunities in his field came up every week, and he couldn't pass them up! He totally hit this thing hard - and with me cheering him on, we decided together that we might as well go big or go home! Energy through the roof, I'm telling you!

...

And now, we're waiting.

he's received some feedback from schools already, such as requests for more information/documentation. Which is Great! But still...

It's hard.  We wait. We wonder.  We never worry, but we wonder... where will we live this time next year?

Everyone else is wondering, too. Our families and our friends.  My co-workers. His colleagues.  We're all just one big ball of waiting excitement.  It's gotten to the point where this is affecting Christmas a great deal, because I keep wondering - will we know by then? Or will we still be waiting?  Chances are, we'll still be waiting and wondering.

This experience isn't something that anyone can fully understand unless they've lived it.  I would have to say that this is comparable to the NFL draft - I'll be waiting in the wings, willing to move wherever my husband goes, whatever "team" chooses him in the end.  Will he be a first rounder, picked in early December? Will he be a steal for some lucky school in early January? Or will he be picked late in February, after a long, pain-staking wait that will all be worth it in the end because he gets to pursue his dreams?

I don't whine or whimper to anyone.  We're alone. Me, and him.  We have our families' support, and believe me, it's amazing - but do they feel what we feel?  We are ecstatic about all of the job opportunities.  Every school, every town, every city - we're in love with all of them.  We avoid sharing the full extent of our enthusiasm with our families, because how in the world can we explain to them that we would really love to live in the cornfields? Would we be able to convince anyone, seeing as how we've lived in the Appalachian mountains our entire lives? Yeah, probably not.

My biggest fear, the one that "scares me right out of my pants"? Breaking hearts. Trying to explain to my mom why we would rather be Oklahoma Sooners than West Virginia Mountaineers. Or move to Tallahassee Florida for a temporary post-doc rather than settle down in Bowling Green, Kentucky. All of this depends on actual offers and time - both out of our control. But still, I fear a difficult decision. I accept it, though - it's all a part of the game. 

Have we had discussions about the possibility of making a hard decision? Well - yes and no.  Yes, because we've both agreed that this is probably going to end up being very difficult in the end. No, because it's impossible to plan which school he would choose seeing as how we're not far enough along in this game to know what the offers are going to be.

And so, we wait!

A Criticism of Anti-Intellectualism

"Hey, can I read the first two pages of chapter 5 to you?", my husband asked me on Sunday evening. 

I growled in response.  His dissertation,which was all fun and games in the beginning, has become an increasingly complex, perplexing monster that I have proofread, chapter by chapter (proofread - as in, for spelling errors, dropped words, and oddly formed sentences - certainly not for the actual content) over the course of the last six months. I invest some serious energy, attention, and time to reading and checking over his work (why in the heck would I want to hear it out loud, too?) 

I eventually gave in, and he began reading the fifth chapter to me - just to see if i could understand the concept he was writing about. If so, success! - his writing is clear and concise.  If not - then, maybe it needs some more work. I didn't listen very closely. Therefore, I didn't understand.  Before you judge, please realize that I'm not trying to be mean... I just didn't feel like trying to "get it".  This is just one of many examples of me being the "anti-intellectual" that my husband accuses me of being.  He doesn't get angry or upset with me, he laughs.  He shakes his head and moves on, accepting that while his life forever exists inside the ivory tower, mine exists in, well, a little bit of everywhere (the mall, my job, TV, etc.)  Some days, I'm energetic about thinking critically and exploring new ideas.  Some days, I can totally stomach discussions about politics and religion.  But some other days... I just can't hack it.  On those days, I have a Bath and Body Works sale, or a pair of new shoes, a tasty piece of cheesecake or Edward Cullen on my mind.  That's right - some days, my mind is preoccupied with consumerism, pop culture, and unhealthy food: three no-nos if you're trying to be all intellectual and crap.


My husband's fave reads
(Karl Marx vomited in my apartment.)


But wait a minute.  If i feel like "being" intellectual sometimes, am I really an "anti-intellectual"? I'm certainly not a proud "non-reader" like Kanye West.  I have a college education and I read on a regular basis, so am I still "anti-intellectual"? 

Wikipedia defines anti-intellectualism as hostility toward and mistrust of intellect, intellectuals, and intellectual pursuits, usually expressed as the derision of education, philosophy, literature, art, and science, as impractical and contemptible.  Anti-intellectuals usually perceive and publicly present themselves as champions of the common folk, proposing that the educated are a social class detached from the everyday concerns of the majority, and that they dominate political discourse and higher education. 

I admit it - when I'm tagging along at a conference in an effort to learn about my husband's field, listening to someone's presentation (see! Intellectual brownie points there!) and the audience starts asking questions, I roll my eyes.  I feel that a lot of "intellectuals" ask questions simply just to hear themselves talk, not because they really wanna know anything.  As they talk in circles, asking a question, then answering their own question, then asking about the answer they gave their own question while the presenter stands at the front of the room looking utterly hopeless, I feel my eyes practically sticking inside the top of my head. Oops, I'm "anti-intellectual" now. 



Some of my book collection - Twilight, Russo, Sparks, and Shoe Addicts Anonymous
(but give me credit - I read a biography of MLK and I loved it!)

But then, i take a stroll through the campus I'm visiting.  I stop by and admire the sculptures outside the student center, take a minute to check out the student art gallery.  I am NOT "anti-intellectual" then, am I? I don't mistrust those who are educated - I am educated.

Do I see myself as a champion of the common folk?  Well... nah.  I'm not really a champion of anything unless it's knowing quotes from the Office or lyrics to Britney Spears songs. Do I feel that those who are educated are a social class among themselves, estranged from the "common folk"? No - it isn't that simple - although I've certainly met individuals who think of themselves in that regard.

I truly love my husband's work - his research is interesting, he has more determination and desire to pursue a career in academia than anyone I've ever known.  I'm super supportive, easy-going, and ready to rock and roll to whatever school, whatever conference, whatever college town, whenever, wherever.  I'm game.  I love talking to him about the future, and I enjoy the discussions we have about his work - but just not all the time.  My life is consumed with this stuff, and I sometimes just need to take a break and rest my mind a little. I sometimes wonder where people get the energy to fight-fight-fight all the time, whether it be about politics or child-rearing or whatever... serious discussions about serious topics give me a headache and scare me away! I guess it depends on your passion - which, for me, is the importance of Facebook and using a good quality hand soap.  I could go on and on about those two topics for hours on end.

Where do you stand?  Do you consider yourself "anti-intellectual"?  Or are you like me - a mixed bag o' everything?  

     

A Little bit'a Rhetoric...

Pretend you are a stylish, cute little gal who lives vicariously through but doesn't completely understand your husband's life in academia.  For fun, also pretend that you're wearing a lovely green dip-dye scarf from GAP, skinny jeans, a cute little brown fitted blazer and adorable Rampage flats with gold buckle accents. And hot pink nail polish. In other words, pretend you're me:

I decided to accompany my husband to the University of Louisville's Campus last Friday, as he was scheduled to give a conference presentation in the afternoon. I figured I'd head over with him early in the a.m., and enjoy some time exploring and playing on and around the campus while he did his scholarly thing. Ya know... forgo the academic peoples and their ideas, avoid making a compete arse of myself by attempting to speak at their level, and carry on about my day, Steph-style. 

* * * *

We were waiting for the shuttle bus that would transport us from our hotel to campus.  A nice lady approached us in the hotel lobby and, in broken English, asked us if we are "going to conference."  My husband and I let her know that we are, indeed, headed to the conference; he immediately jumped into academic/competitive/"ehhh, so what's YOUR story" mode, and began asking her questions about where she was from, what school she was representing, her fields of interest, etc.  And no, I didn't just stand there, quiet as a mouse. I definitely should have.

The Serbian gal turns to me and asks, "And you? School? what is you school?" 

I had four choices:

1: Explain that I earned a Bachelor of Arts degree from Marshall University's School of Liberal Arts  in 2006 and currently work in addiction/mental health field, but currently, I am not enrolled as a graduate student (which is the truth, therefore obviously the best answer.)

2: Brain-dead-ing-ly reply in my twangy hick-girly accent that, "I AIN'T IN SKOOL NO MORE" - (which, sadly, is the first answer that came to my mind),

3: Pretend I'm mute, nod my head, and let my husband take care of all the questions, or

4: Lie.

I chose #4. I lied. In fact, I lied so much, I'm not so sure what the truth really even is five whole days later.

"Aeeeuuhh... the Ohio University", I said. Now, if you're from Ohio, or a student of either Ohio State or Ohio University, you will understand that there is a RULE: the schools are clearly named "THE Ohio State University", and "Ohio University". Never, ever, a combination of the two.  In my case, I've committed a crime as far as the college student population of Ohio is concerned. Anyway, my new Serbian friend continues:

"Ooooh and you study? What is it do you study?"

Since I'm a total social media hooker, and the only field I would ever consider studying in my husband's scholarly world is Digital Media, I stammered around and finally choked out this intelligent-sounding answer:

"new media - YA know, blogging, social networking stuff, a little bit'a... rhetoric".

A little bit'a Wha???

Yes, a "little bit of" rhetoric. Not a whole lot, just a little bit. Because I hate effing rhetoric. BAHAHAHA.  At this point my husband has turned his entire body completely away and is looking off into the distance, hoping and praying that the shuttle bus comes, like, YESTERDAY, or that he could be invisible.  OR... throw himself in front of the bus before it stops to pick us up. Next question:

"Are you Ph.D too?"

I shake my head no... "naw, naw, not Ph.D".  Well, what then? 

She looked at me quizzically.  I swear, my blogging friends, I was not toying with her mind on purpose. 

"Masters Degree" I squeaked. Hubby decides to jump back in on the conversation and rescue me. Or. So. He. Thought!

They carry on about writing a thesis vs. taking a cumulative exam to complete Masters Degree requirements. I'm sweating, but thankful that the attention has been turned away from me.

"Do you write thesis? or take test?"

You're kidding me...  "TEST. Ohhh nooo... i could never write a thesis.... after watching my husband go through this whole dissertation process. Yep, test. Taking the test."

She continues on, talking about how she hated taking the GRE test to get into graduate school, and how she cannot imagine taking yet another monster test, because she hates tests. Tests. Tests. Tests.

The bus is coming. Hot damn!  Finally, I decide I should tell the truth.

"I'm studying for the GRE now!"

Whoopsie.  Why would I be doing that, when i'm already enrolled in a Master's Degree program, studying new media and "a lil' bit'a rhetoric"?

Did my sweet Siberian friend have any clue that I tangled myself up in a whirlwind of lies? I think she was as confused as I was.

One little lie.  Leads to another one.. leads to the next one... and continues on.

I've decided, from now on, I'm telling the TRUTH. I never could have - or would have - tried to pull that one over anyone else.  I think there was a sick part of me that wanted to try to impress the poor girl for whatever reason - but my point is this:

Be comfortable with who you are, and don't ever try to be anything or anyone else.  And for goodness sakes, if you're going to lie, please do a better job than I did!

Off I go... to study a Little bit'a Rhetoric!

The LIST

My husband has combed the first wave of Fall 2011 academic job openings carefully, and together we have narrowed them down to form "The LIST".  Without disclosing super-secret squirrel information, I can reveal that in less than one year I will likely be living in the Midwest, the deep south, the northeast, the Atlantic coast, the northwest, a large city, a small college town, a snowy climate, a rainy climate, a humid climate, or a dry climate. Seriously, I really don't know. "We've narrowed it down to America!", my husband exclaimed last night. I totally laughed out loud!


Trailmodel Rain Coat
(me likey!)

     What will my outerwear needs be in the middle of February? Will it be a light layer of L.L. Bean Trailmodel Fleece? or Trail Model Rain wear? (or both?) The Stormchaser 3-in-1 Jacket, or a Goose-Down Bubble Coat?  Maybe a Casco Bay Windbreaker will do the job (I'm obviously asking for some new L.L. Bean - anyone want to help me out here?)     
    My super scholarly man of a husband, God love him, is submitting over 20 job applications via online or snail mail during the next two months.  Surprisingly, I'm managing to hold it together.  I'm loving every single college and university on "The LIST".  I've spent the past five years of his educational journey preparing for this phase - all I can say is BRING. IT. ON. My L.L. Bean outerwear and I will adjust accordingly!

The Academic Job Market... it ain't like a trip to the supermarket!

And so...it begins.

Assistant Professors are needed starting in the 2011 academic year... at so many schools, in so many locations across the country.  My husband and I - well, we're caught in a whirlwind! 

I have so much confidence in him, and know that he will land a great job - he has done so many great things throughout the long process of graduate studies, and I know he will be an asset to a very lucky college or university. I know he can fit in anywhere, private or public, big or small, and I know he will continue to succeed.  Of course, as his wife, I'm obligated to be his biggest fan.

Options are starting to fly in from all geographic regions. When a new one is posted, we talk about it realistically- what it would be like to live in that location, how the job call suits his experience and research, what might be there for me as far as graduate school or a career is concerned... and then, we add it to "the list". The list of definitely's, maybe's, and last resorts.  Really, it's in our hands - at least, at first. All of the schools he sends an application to will be possibilities for us.

{via}

We have supportive families, but they have a limited understanding of how challenging this situation really is for us. Most people, with the exception of those who are already immersed in academia, don't thoroughly understand this experience (and it's effing crazy as a spouse, let me tell you!) The most important factor in this job market 'adventure' is that my husband acquires a job that will enable him to utilize all of the knowledge, experience, research goals, and ideas he's gained and developed over the past five years.  Being a professor doesn't stop at teaching - academia is a unique world, and I've learned just by being a bystander that it's competitive as heck.  Publications, Presentations -the two big P's.   In addition to a fantastic job opportunity, finding a place where we can have fun,  and really enjoy our lives is important.  Maybe we'll settle there, maybe we won't.  Maybe we'll raise children there, maybe it'll be somewhere else.  Where will I fit in? Where can I find a great job, too?  Yes, we miss our loved ones. But the road home isn't going to disappear. We want a life full of excitement, travel, new experiences, challenges, and goals (yeah, try saying that at the Thanksgiving dinner table in rural West Virginia. It goes over really well!)

At this point, it's entirely up to us - more so my husband, since he's the job seeker.  Together, we decide what could be best for us, he will complete the application process for each school.  But when I drop those applications off to the post master, mailed via priority mail, insured and with a tracking number, it's completely out of our hands.  We will wait... for the phone to ring.  Side note:  any predictions on how much money I'll spend on postage this year?

The next phase of the academic job market will occur later this fall. And you can best bet, I will be blogging about what i've playfully named "the waiting game" - so stay tuned!